Wednesday, 13 September 2017

It's Ok If We're Not Girlbosses All The Damn Time

I have been a part of the blogging world for around six years now, whether that be through consuming my favourite blogs, or writing my own, and along with that I have discovered many amazing social media influencers who’s lives I love to follow (I’m nosey like that!).

The thing is though, following all of these amazing women who seem like they just have it all figured out can often make me feel a little inadequate. I mean, how do they maintain a work life balance that involves working from the early hours in the morning to the wee hours of the night, attend three press events a day, maintain a healthy diet, go to the gym five times a week, and have a Pinterest worthy house?! Where do they fit all of this in, and have time to get their beauty sleep, because these beauties I follow don’t look like they’re lacking in the sleep department!

If I’m honest, I think this has been a huge factor into me being so all over the place with my feelings on blogging over the past year. Seeing all these amazing women going from success to success made me feel like less of a person, so at the time it was easier for me to just bow out for a while and detox myself from the online world that I had been so heavily involved in for so long.

This is in no way a criticism to these ladies either. At the end of the day, these people are fully entitled to show the parts of their lives that they wish, and if that’s just the highlights reel, then that is their decision. As long as they’re not pretending they’re on some exotic island when in fact they’re sat in their pyjamas binge watching Netflix with a bowl of popcorn, then I’m all for these women to show whatever aspects of their life as they so wish! I mean isn’t that what we all do? Share the parts we’re happy for the world to know whilst concealing the parts we’d rather keep to ourselves.  It's just that some of us are happier to share the bad as well as the good, whilst some of us prefer to keep the bad concealed and only share the good times.

It was me with the problem. I was doing the one thing we’re told in the bloggersphere on a daily basis that we should never do. I was comparing myself to others. All I could see was hugely successful women, 10 years my junior absolutely bossing it, whilst I felt like I’d barely moved forward in the six years since I graduated from university.

It took a long time, and a great deal of soul searching for me to accept that, in fact, it’s ok for me to be where I am, because my life and the life of these women who I’ve been following on social media for so long are probably worlds apart.

By dropping the comparisons and focusing on my own life, I have been able to look at my life and my achievements in a more positive light.

Yes, the women I follow on social media generally seem to have fallen into a career they’re happy with from the get go (Which is awesome, FYI!), or that is the perception I get anyway, whereas it has taken me six years since graduating to find a job I’m happy with. One that brings in enough money for me to be comfortable, enjoy life, doesn’t give me that morning dread from Monday – Friday, and still leaves me with enough energy to come home and work on my passion projects. I could have taken the easy way out and continued working in jobs that made me miserable, but instead I took the scary leap of taking myself out of a situation that was making me truly miserable, and instead really took my time, and allowed myself to be a bit more picky until I found a job I was happy with.

Yes, my house isn’t always perfect. Sometimes I don’t have the time to keep on top of tidying it, and sometimes it has to be neglected whilst other things take priority. This isn’t me saying I live in a dirty house, just sometimes a bit of a cluttered house, which are two very different situations. It does bother me when my home gets cluttered, but I’ve come to accept that it’s just the way it has to be sometimes. I work full time Monday – Friday, I come home and cook tea, and I work bloody hard in the evenings on this little blog, which I’ve always felt truly passionate about (And more so recently!). At the weekend I like to spend time with Spencer, my sister, and friends and family, so if something comes up with them you can bet I’m going to spend time with the people I love over a bit of cleaning that can be done another time.

Yes, I might not always be up for interacting on my social media channels, but I also suffer considerably with my mental health, and I have come to learn over time that social media can be a really big contributing factor in that. So I’m not going to feel bad about not maintaining my blog channels on the days when my brain needs a rest from it all. Instead, I’m just going to give it the rest it is so obviously craving.

In all honesty I have no idea how some of you maintain your social media channels so well on top of working a full time job, then running a blog/YouTube channel/Etsy shop. The only conclusion I can come to is that you’ve managed to get your hands on Hermione’s time turner!

So going forward, I’m going to stop beating myself up for not being able to live up to the lifestyle I see perceived on so many people’s social media accounts, because I’ve finally realised that I’m only seeing one side of somebody’s life that way. Sometimes I might leave a few pots to be washed the day after and choose to sit and watch some TV with Spencer instead. Sometimes, when I haven’t had time to clean I might just have to clear an area to get that perfect product shot so everything looks a little more organised than it really is (I mean, I think we’ve all done that haven’t we?), and sometimes, I might have to take a break from social media, and if that means my numbers might drop on my channels from time to time, then so be it. My health and happiness is more important to me.

And this goes for all of us.  We're very different people with very different lives.  As long as you're living your happiest life, then don't worry about what the rest of us are doing.

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