Tuesday, 29 August 2017

A Little Blog Update


Here I am, only three posts in and writing a little blog update already!

You'll have to forgive me.  My commitment to blogging has somewhat wavered over this past year, and I've felt so lost in the blogging community.  I think it's been a reflection of how I've felt about life as a whole since losing my Mum.  In the space of a weekend my life drastically changed forever, and I've just really struggled with adapting to that in all aspects of my life.

The loss of my Mum was a huge wake up call for me in so many ways.  The loss of her was so sudden it made me question my mortality.  What happened to her could happen to each and every one of us (Although I hope to hell it absolutely does not!), and I was suddenly very aware that I was spending far too much time online.  I want to live and breathe each and every moment, but I didn't know how to do that whilst recording moments to write about on my blog.  I couldn't find a balance.  The blogging World has become so competitive, and I was struggling to keep up.  I kept trying and trying to change up how I blogged to fit more within the community, but ultimately I wasn't happy.

Then came the Twitter dramas that I seemed to be witnessing every other day.  To be honest they've probably always been going on, and still do now (I only witnessed one on the morning of the day I wrote this post!).  Although I'm fully aware that disagreements often start of as healthy debate and difference of opinion that causes a discussion (Which I'm fully on board with taking place), there always seems to be one or two individuals who just have to take it one step too far and create unnecessary drama.  Although I feel like I'm at a stage where I can just ignore it now, a few months back it was giving me genuine rage.  I just couldn't understand how people could cause so much petty drama over such small things when there's all this awful stuff going on in the world?!  I never reacted to my thoughts as I knew they were irrational.  Losing my Mum has made me so much more that there is more to life than arguing over such small matters, but what seems small to me could be a huge deal to somebody else.  This is a mindset I've always upheld, so the safest option for me was to just take some time away from social media as a whole.

I actually declared at one stage to Spencer and a number of other people that I didn't want to blog ever again, and in that moment I truly meant it.  I felt so lost in the bloggersphere, and in my own head that the only way out that I could see was to just take myself out of the equation altogether.  However, irregardless of starting an Etsy shop and keeping myself busy with other projects, nothing makes me feel as good as writing does, and soon enough the need to write was calling me again.

Whilst in Disney I had an idea to start a blog dedicated to all things Disney.  Having struggled finding information that, in my opinion should be fairly easy to find, I had an idea to start a blog sharing all of the information that I struggled to find, and although I still love this idea and fully intend to incorporate it into my blog, narrowing down my topics to write about so much just wasn't enough for me.  I need the freedom to write about all of my passions.

Whilst at Leeds Festival on the Sunday I had some time on my own.  Spencer and Morgan wanted to get closer for Eminem, and I just wasn't willing to squeeze myself into that crowd, so I had some head space to think about things for a while.  I've had it in my head for a long time that I would like a blog called Siobhan Emma, but always felt put off by it because so many people revert to their given names for their blogs now, and I've heard other bloggers criticise people for making this move in the past.  Yesterday though I just thought, "Why do I care so much about what other people think?".  Caring about what everybody else thinks has always been one of my biggest flaws.  I just want to please everybody, and it's impossible.  Calling my blog by first first two given names makes sense to me.  This is a lifestyle blog based around my life.  Why would I call it anything else?  So as you can see, just before writing this post I just did it.  I bit the bullet, bought the domain, and here we are, and I feel so relieved!

I feel like I can really make this blog my own again.  I know that I've always had the option to do that, but I think working on a blog I was no longer happy with, feeling so lost and then almost pigeon holing myself made me feel otherwise.

I will of course still be sharing my love for Disney on this blog and more trip reports will be coming your way soon, but I'm also looking forward to sharing other things, like my recent day out at Leeds Festival (And just my love for music in general!), my travels, film reviews, and much more.

For those of you who have either come over from my old blog or have stuck around recently, thank you so much.  I know I've been an absolute nightmare this past year, so I really do appreciate it.  Let's hope from here on out I can build something that I truly love.
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4 comments

  1. Looking forward to reading more Siobhan! I hope this space feels more like you this time around ☺️

    Tarnya xxxxx

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    1. Thank you Tarnya! I feel good about this. I feel like all the noise that's gone on in my head for the past year has finally quietness down a bit so that I can actually start thinking straight again xx

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  2. Hello from a new follower.

    This is a great post and very thought provoking. At the end of the day its your blog so you should run it exactly as you want. Looking forward to reading more from you. xx

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    1. Hi Jane! Thank you so much! It's a bit of a flawed personality trait of mine. Too eager to please everybody else, even if that's at the expense of my own happiness, and I seem to have let that filter through into my hobbies too. I'm slowly learning to accept that I can't make everybody happy, and take back control of my own life and live it however the hell I want to.

      I hope you enjoy what I have in store in the future! x

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